Letting Go

Today in the midst of my being ill myself (chest, throat), alongside Vladi, we had to make one of the hardest decisions of our lives. Páidi, our near 16 year old Husky, kids called him 'el lobo,' (the wolf)had to be put to sleep.

He was the hardiest, most determined dog and adored out walking in the valley with me and chasing our other dogs. He had been on medication for his heart and arthritis for years. I loved him like a true soul-mate, he was born in our kitchen just 3 months after I met Vladi and moved in with him....Páidi and I settled into life here on Gran Canaria and today I had to make the decision to let him go ....his body was becoming full of sores, he could hardly walk...this morning he lay down and didn't want to move, he peed himself and refused all water and food.I knew in my heart it was time. I had heard him crying out in his sleep all night. I carried him to the garden twice to pee and it was a struggle....my heart was breaking and continues to break...

I don't think I'll ever come near to loving another dog the way I loved the wild wolf soul of this amazing dog....the sad thing is I know I will have to grieve alone with my husband, I want to shout from the roof tops the pain I feel after losing him....but who is to hear or comfort, unfortunately to lose an animal friend is not looked on as 'grieving' for real but by heck, it feels like it. I loved Páidi like a member of my own family,...it hurts so much that he is gone, I know I need to find strength for this and I will find it, there is no alternative....this Blog has become like my trusted, always-there friend, even if no one reads this, I feel comfort in shouting to the virtual world that I loved this feisty dog...and that I will allow myself to grieve for him.